Confession: The Elf on the Shelf kind of drives me crazy. Not only is he a little creepy looking, but I think he gives children the wrong view of God. Elf on the Shelf is supposed to be Santa’s scout. He (or she) watches children to see if they’re being good or bad and reports back to Santa. Bad children don’t deserve Santa’s gifts, but good children do. This sounds like the way many people see God. I don’t want to introduce that idea to my children, so I wanted an Elf on the Shelf alternative. That’s why the Kindness Elf started visiting last year.

What is the Kindness Elf?

We don’t emphasize Santa Claus in our house, but we were gifted an Elf on the Shelf a few years ago.   I decided that each day, our elf would give an idea of how we can give to others. This brings the focus off of getting more things (because clutter!!) and lets my children experience the joy of giving. I was a little inconsistent with this last year because we had a newborn, but this year, I put together 25 giving elf arrangements that I can set-up pretty quickly. While I won’t have the super intricate Elf on the Shelf arrangements that I see on Pinterest– I think the ROI will be strong 😉

25 Kindness Elf Ideas

Buy a Starbucks gift card and give it to someone in line
Write a Merry Christmas message and put it on a random car (here’s some inspiration!)
Send a gift to a soldier
Sing Christmas carols to neighbors or people in our community
Donate old toys or clothes to a nearby shelter or other charity

Play with someone new at the park, gym childcare, church nursery, co-op, etc.
Clean up without being asked
Buy extra groceries for a food pantry (find a local food pantry here)
Adopt a family to provide Christmas gifts for
Check in with an elderly neighbor

Bring baked goods to neighbors or friends
Make a Christmas ornament to give away
Bring breakfast or a snack to volunteers at church (Maybe a cute hot cocoa bar?)
Hold a door open for someone
Put change in a Salvation Army can, or sign up for a bell-ringing shift!

Read a book (or tell it back) to a sibling
Memorize Isaiah 9:6, and share it with others
Earn chore money to give to others
Practice greeting people politely
Help pack a lunch for a family member

Invite friends over for coffee and cocoa
Leave a treat and a note for the mail carrier (not cash, as this article explains!)
Make coupons of kind things to do for a family member
Bring bagels to the police or fire department
Give a candygram to the librarian

I imagine my arrangements will be super simple, because I will probably have to sneak the Elf somewhere in the morning after Miss H is already up 🙂

 

 

 

What other acts of kindness would you suggest for little ones?

 

 

We have a book of bedtime poems that Miss H loves. It’s called Switching on the Moon: A Very First Book of Bedtime Poems. Most of the poems are modern, but there are a few classics worked in. The poem that she wants to have read to her every night is Sweet and Low by Alfred Lord Tennyson. This is a poem that I memorized with my fourth graders at an Ambleside School. Sometimes throughout the day, I recite it to Miss H, and she just loves it! (That’s an embarrassing confession!)

Introducing poems to little ones is intimidating. We want to be sure that we understand it before presenting it to a child. I think we need to be okay with the fact that we might not get every little nuance of poetry.  Young children probably won’t understand every word (and if you’re like me, you might look up a few, too!) but the point is to expose them to classics. Bedtime is a great time to introduce a young child to classic poetry. The song-like rhythm and your child’s sleepy, undivided attention is perfect for poetry. I rounded up some other classic poems that I think you’ll enjoy.

 

10 Bedtime Poems

 

Sweet and Low by Alfred Lord Tennyson

Sweet and low, sweet and low,

        Wind of the western sea,

Low, low, breathe and blow,

        Wind of the western sea!

Over the rolling waters go,

Come from the dying moon, and blow,

        Blow him again to me;

While my little one, while my pretty one, sleeps.

Sleep and rest, sleep and rest,

        Father will come to thee soon;

Rest, rest, on mother’s breast,

        Father will come to thee soon;

Father will come to his babe in the nest,

Silver sails all out of the west

        Under the silver moon:

Sleep, my little one, sleep, my pretty one, sleep.

 

 

The Moon Was But a Chin of Gold by Emily Dickinson 

 

Escape at Bedtime by Robert Louis Stevenson

 

Bedtime by George MacDonald

 

The Children’s Hour by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Sleep! Sleep! Beauty Bright by William Blake

 

The Lamb by William Blake

Little Lamb who made thee

        Dost thou know who made thee

Gave thee life & bid thee feed.

By the stream & o’er the mead;

Gave thee clothing of delight,

Softest clothing wooly bright;

Gave thee such a tender voice,

Making all the vales rejoice!

        Little Lamb who made thee

        Dost thou know who made thee

        Little Lamb I’ll tell thee,

        Little Lamb I’ll tell thee!

He is called by thy name,

For he calls himself a Lamb:

He is meek & he is mild,

He became a little child:

I a child & thou a lamb,

We are called by his name.

        Little Lamb God bless thee.

        Little Lamb God bless thee.

 

A Cradle Song by William Blake

 

The Dream Keeper by Langston Hughes

 

The Harvest Moon by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Is there a bedtime poem that your child loves? Tell me about it!

 

When I taught third grade in a public school, I learned that many children didn’t understand their own emotions. I saw this play out every day in the classroom, and read research to support it. At a staff meeting, I learned that the majority of third-graders could only identify happy and sad emotions.  That idea really resonated with me.  Right now, Miss H (3) can identify about 4 emotions. I’m not sure she can identify them in herself, but she definitely notices when I’m happy, sad, angry, or frustrated. I want her to be able to identify and appropriately respond to her own emotions. We have a lot of work to do!

Why Teaching About Emotions is Important

The first step towards handling our emotions is recognizing them. When I wrote my post about handling anger, a few people mentioned that they can tell when they start to get angry, and then they can do whatever steps are necessary to avoid losing their cool. If someone never learns how to recognize and deal with anger, they will always lose their cool! This goes for other emotions, even the less intense ones. The phrase “I’m bored” often masks a wide range of childhood emotions, from worn-out to grief. If children are taught to specifically identify the emotion they’re experience, they can learn how to handle it better (and you might not hear “I’m bored!” so often.)

Charlotte Mason said:

In Educating the Feelings we Modify the Character––But our feelings, as our thoughts, depend upon what we are; we feel in all things as ’tis our nature to,’ and the point to be noticed is that our feelings are educable, and that in educating the feelings we modify the character. A pressing danger our day is that the delicate task of educating shall be exchanged for the much simpler one of blunting the feelings.  (Parents and Children)

In other words: We all feel emotions differently, and that is in our nature.  How we handle them builds our character. It might be easier to teach children to distract themselves from uncomfortable feelings, it’s important to teach them how to appropriately manage them.

We all know of adults who have unhealthy coping mechanisms for various emotions. This is blunting, and it isn’t helpful.

How to teach About Emotions

The first one is obvious. Talk about it. Children learn from our model. When I feel a negative emotion, I explain it to Miss H (and apologize when necessary!) She quickly picked up on frustration, and now every time I breathe too loudly she asks, “Mom, why are you frustrated?”

Reading living texts gives rich opportunities to discuss different emotions. I ask questions like, “How do you think she feels now?” This also allows children to develop empathy, which is so important!

Miss H has this Melissa & Doug Bear Dress-Up. Each face has a different emotion. This gives us a chance to talk about how the teddy bear feels. We also try to choose an outfit that fits her mood. Miss H decided that if the teddy bear is sick, she should wear pajamas. If she’s happy, she might want to wear a happy color, like yellow.

The movie Inside Out  does a great job describing emotions and how we handle them.

But…

Limit screen time, because too much of it hinders your child’s ability to develop empathy. (Here’s a good article on the effects screen time has on social and emotional growth). TV (Netflix, movies, etc.) manages our emotions for us. We turn off unpleasant feelings we don’t want to cope with, and instead feel what a Hollywood producer wants us to. Charlotte Mason had no idea how major “blunting the feelings” would become in future in generations!

 

 

We decided to have a Little Blue Truck board book birthday party for Baby E when he was only halfway through his first year. Every time we read the book to him, he cooed and grunted and excitedly kicked his legs. Closer to a year, he didn’t really like any books at all, but we decided to stick with it. I like the thought of a party based around a book character instead of a TV or movie character. Plus, depending on how you look at it, it could be considered a living text. 

Both of Baby E’s grandmas came to celebrate, and we had some neighbors and friends from our small group over. We sure were thankful for both grandmas’ help!

Free Little Blue Truck Decorations

We used decorations from this website. Nate went to a print shop and printed the banner, cupcake toppers (that we didn’t use for cupcakes!) and party hats on good card stock. My mom (party hostess extraordinaire) put together the pretty banner and hung it up on and behind Baby E’s high chair.

 

We also printed off coloring pages for the older kids to do for fun.

 

Nate made this photo prop. He is super talented. I’m glad one of us is artistic.

We have awesome chalkboard doors in our basement (once again, Nate!) and I decided to make a last-minute chalkboard drawing for him. I know it’s not perfect, but I wanted to try something artistic. This thought that I’m no good at it so I’m not going to try will not fly in our house 🙂

Since Baby E is into cars and trucks these days, we got him this Fisher-Price Little People Sit ‘n Stand Skyway. (BTW, it’s $14 right now, which is crazy cheap!) E was so excited when we gave it to him! Every time the car went down the track, he pumped his arms like he’d fly away with excitement.

 

I tried really hard not to get so caught up in the entertaining part of the party that I completely missed spending time with my little guy. It was a success.  My little guy was on my hip much of the time; his favorite place to be! The thought that kept going through my mind was that tomorrow, this would just be a memory.