My Little Robins

Loving and Learning in the Nest

Don’t Stress: How to Create a Peaceful Schedule

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This post contains affiliate links.

Today I wrote a guest post over at Intentional in Life explaining why I don’t overschedule our days. I started being intentional about this around the time I first became a stay-at-home mom, when I was pregnant with Baby E. It turned out that by adding a little margin into our schedule, we had more room for quality play, less stress in our home, and more opportunities to bond together. But it wasn’t easy to do at first. Fighting the knee-jerk reaction to always say yes to fun plans took a while, and was a little painful at first. Changing our schedule to allow for more peace in our days was an almost counter-cultural decision.

Have you ever noticed how many idioms there are about being busy? Some of them are negative- you have too much time on your hands– and some of them are meant to be positive- you’re such a busy bee! “Busy” is often a response to the question, “How are you doing?” So why is it so valued to be busy, especially when we know that it can actually be harmful for our children?

I don’t know. That was a hypothetical question.

What I do know is that with a little adjustment of our habits, we’ve been able to achieve a schedule that let’s us be, and not always do.

Children and parents alike are overscheduled- fight the urge to be too busy!

Why is busyness seen as a good thing? See how I live counter culturally and fight overscheduling our days.

This post contains affiliate links. Read more about these in my policies. 

Set Boundaries

It took some experimenting to figure out which boundaries worked for us. My goal wasn’t to make us homebodies, but to take the stress out of getting from point A to point B every day. So, I decided how many commitments I felt was a tolerable number for my children and for me. It will look different for everyone, but this is where I drew the line:

  • One event out with friends each week
  • One MOPS meeting each week (we have one week off a month)
  • No more than two nights out (for mom or kids) during the weeknights, and two nights in a row is too exhausting
  • A couple gym trips each week (we go at different times, depending on how we’re feeling/napping)

Our boundaries allow plenty of time for my little ones to “socialize” with other children. They have about 5 or 6 opportunities to be around kids their age.

I realize that this probably makes some of you want to rip out your hair because you feel you need to get out and do things. Way to go, mama! Do what’s best for your family!

(And you. Do what’s best for you, too. Read my post about mini-breaks for mom here, because mommy matters too!)

Prioritize

There’s a Jonny Diaz song that I love- Just Breathe. One of the lines in the song is,

Lay down what’s good and find what’s best”

There are so many opportunities that come up each week, and they’re often good. But I need to focus on what’s best. I have to be really intentional about the people we spend our time with, and what we do with our time. Do you remember that cliche that grown-ups told us all the time as children? “Too much of a good thing is no good.” That applies to scheduling, too!

I think that prioritizing these things was the hardest part of clearing our schedule. When Miss H was younger, I thought had to take her to every event that she might enjoy or teach her something. Sometimes we had multiple events to go to each day, which was just too much for us. It took me awhile to change my train of thought, that unstructured time is more beneficial to my children than all of these structured opportunities.

Maybe you don’t think picking and choosing events isn’t that difficult, but picking and choosing friends really is. Ouch, I know.

When I meet someone new, I’m pretty sure a part of me silently screams, “Be my friend! Let’s have our kids be best buds! When can I see you next?” But I’ve had to slow down and think about which relationships I can truly pour quality time into.  The truth is I have some amazing friends, and I want to be sure I’m not creating an inner circle that’s too big to be tended.

Lyrics from Jonny Diaz’s song Just Breathe.

Plan time outside

When we don’t have anything scheduled, I make sure to spend plenty of time outside. When getting together with friends, we often choose outdoor activities. Spending time outside is a proven way to lower the stress hormone, cortisol. (Read the article from Prevention here.)

My Instagram feed is FULL of pictures taken outside. Outdoor time is the basis of a Charlotte Mason “preschool.” Not only are my children getting that iconic version of a childhood spent outdoors, but they’re learning and reducing their stress at the same time.

(Here’s my post about what time outdoors in the early years should look like.)

Make things as simple as possible

It would be great if my children were these miniature grown-ups who could jump into every situation without feeling stressed, or stay out way past their bedtimes and still be congenial and charming, but they aren’t. (Okay, I know it wouldn’t be great. I love that they’re children: wild emotions, early bedtimes, and all!)  So, we say no to events that will make our children stay out way past their bedtimes. That fun we had two hours past their bedtimes turns into at least a day of fussiness and resistance. That is not peaceful! Weekend dinners are scheduled as early as possible to avoid crowds and long waits on empty stomachs.

If there’s a big event we want to go to, we plan around crowds and hunger and other complicated issues. I don’t want to teach my children that the entire world revolves around them, but I do want to set them up for success and not failure. 

(You can read about Charlotte Mason infant habits, including the habit of keeping a schedule here.) 

We Allow Room for Spontaneity

As I say all this, I’m also realizing the beauty of a spontaneous childhood. Those last-minute trips to go get an ice cream cone, or even an unplanned road trip. I hope the schedule I described doesn’t make you think there’s not room for spontaneity. Quite the opposite. When we’re rested, refreshed, and healthy in our relationships, these spontaneous adventures are even more enjoyable and likely.

Create a rhythm, not a schedule

Lately, I’ve been investigating the idea of having rhythms instead of schedules. I did this without realizing it: instead of having a strict schedule, I create flexible patterns in our day. You can read more about daily rhythms in this post by Sugar Spice and Glitter. 

If creating a life of less sounds good to you, then I encourage you to read Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequist. Her descriptions of moving from a life of chaos and busyness towards one of peace and rest are truly inspiring! (I wrote more about the book here.)

5 Strategies to Teach Your Preschooler to Clean Up

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At the beginning of the year, I decided to plan out habits I need to work on as a mom. February’s habit is neatness and order. It feels like I’ve been working on this habit forever, but the cycle of kids make a mess, mom cleans it up keeps going and going. I decided that I needed to get some new systems so this cycle doesn’t drive me absolutely nuts. Miss H is almost four- she’s very capable of cleaning up after herself!  The key to securing neatness and order in my house is delegating, especially to the actual mess-makers. So, this month, I taught Miss H some cleaning strategies to help her clean up after herself, and to make my life less stressful. These strategies mostly focus on keeping her bedroom clean, but they can be used for the whole house!

Charlotte Mason said that children should be able to clean up their own toys at the age of two. Two! That seems teeny, doesn’t it? But then the other day, Baby E started cleaning up his toys- without being asked! This is something that his big sister doesn’t do (yet!) Somewhere along the line, I found a way to squelch Miss H’s natural desire to clean up after herself and help. Maybe it was my attitude towards housework, or the desire to just get something done quickly and not wait for her to do it. Creating a positive, peaceful home atmosphere for my family requires me not to just do the housework, but to teach these life-long skills to my children. I did get a steam mop recently, which she absolutely loves cleaning with. They’re taking in either an atmosphere of order or disorder, whether I like it or not.

As for my own personal tidying project, I have decided to take on the task of getting our home office back in order. For the past few years, my office has become incredibly cluttered. As I write this, there are letters, old bills, and other documents all over the floor. To be honest, it is about time that we invested in some new office furniture to keep everything safe and secure! Our office chairs have definitely seen better days and our desk is so wonky. All I know is that if our office does not get sorted out soon, I might have to call someone in to take care of it!

“Cleanliness, order, neatness, regularity, punctuality, are all ‘branches’ of infant education. They should be about the child like the air he breathes, and he will take them in as unconsciously” (Vol. 1, p. 125).

(Read about how clutter affects a child’s brain here.)

Make room cleaning less overwhelming for your preschooler with these five strategies.

Five Strategies

The Five Things Rule

This one takes a little reminding, but I ask Miss H to pick up 5 things when she goes into a room. She has fun with it, and it doesn’t overwhelm her because it’s just a few things. When I’m really consistent with this, it helps to hold the clutter at bay!

Clutter Baskets

We went to Target and bought these pretty storage bins– one for each bedroom- to put in our family room. A couple of times a day, I ask Miss H to put anything that belongs in her room upstairs in her basket. When it’s full, we bring it upstairs, put everything away, and then put anything in it that needs to go downstairs (cups, towels…she always wanders off with these things!) Then we empty the basket again downstairs, and put it back in the family room. Right now she needs my support with this, but it will get easier for her after more practice! One big advantage to this is that the clutter is gone immediately, even when we haven’t taken the time to empty the basket.

Category Cleaning

Saying, “Clean your room!” doesn’t work out so well in our house. If you think about it, young children can only follow a few directions at a time. But “clean your room!” involves tons of directions! It means to put away clothes, pick up toys, put away shoes, organize the books that are spilling off the book shelf, pick up any trash, make the bed….it’s a big process! I’ve figured out that I need to give Miss H her directions one or two at a time. I say, “Put away your books and clothes,” and when she’s done with those, I say, “Please make your bed.” This helps her get moving in the right direction instead of spinning her wheels.

10 Minute Cleaning Bursts

Miss H sets the timer on my phone for 10 minutes (okay, Siri sets the timer,) and together we clean as much as we can in that time. She loves the element of urgency, and really gets moving during that time. Sometimes we turn on music for that ten minutes for a little extra spring in our steps. This also works out well for the length of her attention span.

Zones

I learned this one from an article about a professional house cleaner and business owner. She mentally divided her spaces into zones so that she could complete an area entirely and not backtrack. This also helps with making the task less overwhelming.

I’m hoping that by working on these strategies, we’ll both be less overwhelmed with housework!

How to Inspire Creative Play in Your Preschooler

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We assume a child either has creativity or doesn't, and forget that creativity has to be fostered.

We Were Created to be Creative

I recently had the opportunity to listen to author and speaker Justin Matott talk about “Creating creative creatures.” His enthusiasm inspired me to learn more about creative play. His main idea was that we were created to be creative.  Since we are created in the image of God the Creator, we are meant to be creative, too.  So many times I’ve viewed creativity as a bonus- it's great if you have it, maybe you'll come up with something great someday.  But seeing it as something that we should intentionally encourage in our children because they were made to be creative has changed my outlook.

Inspire Creative Play

For my children, their ability to be creative and pretend developed around at around a year old. They both started to pretend that they drank out of a play cup, or they put pretend food on a plate to share with me. Through encouragement, this little seed of creativity grew. But as children get older, creativity wanes and needs to be fostered. Here are some proven ways to help your child develop creativity.

1. Help Them Explore Their Interests

Sometimes I get stuck in ruts with my children. We go to the same places and do the same activities. I get comfortable with where we are, and I forget to explore other opportunities that my little ones might enjoy. Lately, I’ve been trying to add new adventures to our days. Exposing them to different things allows them to explore their talents and interests. A wide range of experiences also builds their background information (schema) so they have more knowledge to pull from when they play creatively, solve problems, etc. Also, not overscheduling or constantly entertaining children allows them time to explore their interests.

2. Help Them Develop Their Talents

When I read Parenting With Grace and Truth  last month, one idea really stood out to me: it’s our duty as parents to help our children discover and grow their gifts. My daughter is a nurturer, so of course I love to play dolls with her! I’m a nurturer, too (comes with the job!) She also loves to sing, dance, and act. These are not my things. The thought of some of being on stage brings sweaty palms and visions of people laughing at me (AT me.) But, this sort of entertaining is something she loves and she’s good at. I can’t just try to avoid this kind of play constantly because I feel more comfortable brushing a doll’s hair. I’m thinking we’ll get a puppet theater and maybe take some music classes!

3. Encourage Risk Taking

Risk taking is a huge part of creativity. If we aren’t willing to take risks, we won’t create something new. So, encourage your child to play new games and experiment with toys, science concepts, etc.

4. Limit Screen Time

Anyone want to go back and count how many times I’ve used the terms “limit screen time” in a post? It seems to be a solution to many, many parenting challenges. We aren’t an unplugged family,  but those glowing rectangular screens do have an impact on children’s creativity. Right around the time Baby E was born (and Miss H watched more TV than usual) the only  games she wanted to play were reenactments of television shows she had watched. This didn’t encourage her imagination and creativity! This video explains why limiting screen time is important for encouraging creativity.

Idea Nest- a playful guide for the early years. Add some structure to your days in a Charlotte Mason way. Click the image to find it in My Little Robins' shop. 

5. Let Them Be Messy

Creative play requires experimenting and risk taking, and these things make messes! I took my two little robins to an art studio last week. They scuttled between the different stations that were set up with paint, markers, and oil pastels. Baby E loved that he had some freedom to choose what to do. I gave him some space because it was the perfect environment for it. But, when we got ready to leave, I noticed huge, orange paint blobs on the top of his Stride Rite shoes! The very next day was when I had the opportunity to hear Justin Matott speak. He said that the messes that we worry so much about today will one day be a treasured memory of creating and playing. He told me I need to keep those paint-splattered shoes forever- and I think I will!

6. Give Them Inspiration Through Good Books

Books really do spark imagination and creativity. Charlotte Mason often mentioned making a mental image from what children read or saw. (This is another reason that technology hinders creativity- the mental image is given to them!) Encourage children to pretend they are characters in their favorite stories. If your child is older, encourage him or her to creatively act out events in history.

7. Offer Different Materials to Experiment With

You know I’ve been on this object lesson kick lately (see the second post in this series about Charlotte Mason inspired sensory bins). Giving children the option to observe and play with new materials helps them create new things. At the art studio we went to recently, there was a station with cornstarch packing peanuts (yes, they’re a thing!) and toothpicks. My kids spent a lot of time at that table, poking the toothpicks through them and getting them wet so they would stick together. Hold on to interesting containers, boxes, and other scraps to see what your children can create with them!

Even if you don’t feel like you’re a creative person, you can still encourage it in your child. The point of this isn’t so that they’ll become the next Steve Jobs, but so they can enjoy the process of creating something “new.”

Sensory Bins That Engage ALL the Senses

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Welcome to day two of my learning through play series. Yesterday, I wrote about what learning through play really looks like, and how to encourage it.  Today, I’ll share with you a 180 degree change that I went through concerning sensory bins.

I’ve spent the last year fighting an internal battle with all of the cute sensory bins I see on Pinterest.

 

Don’t look.

So cute.

No, you can’t.

But they’re pure learning fun!

They just don’t fit into a Charlotte Mason home. 

But then! Then I started reading Parents and Children. Charlotte Mason wrote about daily object lessons (you can read more about them here.)

After learning about object lessons, I realized that I needed more of these in our preschool at home. Charlotte Mason recommended that young children observe- closely observe with all of their senses- about 50 objects a day. 50 objects? How does a mama think to draw their little one’s attention to 50 different things a day? That’s when I realized that all of those sensory bins that I see online, filled with rice and plastic figurines, can be adapted to fit into a Charlotte Mason home.

Letters, book parcels, an apple, an orange, a vegetable marrow, fifty things in the course of the day, give opportunity for this kind of object teaching…” Parents and Children, page 184

Sensory bins can fit into a Charlotte Mason home! Here are some Charlotte Mason-inspired sensory bins.

A Multi-Sensory Bin

For Charlotte Mason inspired sensory bins, I decided that I wouldn’t buy any special items for them. (That makes it easy, right?) If the whole point of targeted observation is to get to know the world around them, I didn’t want to introduce any items that aren’t usually in their environment. Next, I decided that I wanted to include objects that appealed to all of the senses, not just sight and touch. I want to get my children into the habit of using all of their senses, so I’ll need to give them opportunities to use them all. The hardest sense to integrate is taste: we are still working with Baby E to not put things in his mouth, so this is a fine line to walk. I also decided to have a theme. This helps to make the bins more visually appealing and less random. The themes I thought of are different than you’ll find on Pinterest (more on themes below!)

Obviously, be careful about which objects touch each other if you’re going to encourage exploring the sense of taste!

What’s the Point?

Before realizing that these could be adapted for a Charlotte Mason home, I remember seeing sensory bins and thinking, “That looks like a huge hassle, and a huge mess!” But, it turns out that sensory bins have a a lot of benefits.

  • Encourage creative play
  • Engage the senses
  • Allows children to practice fine and gross motor skills
  • Teaches children the properties of different materials (soft, hard, fragile, etc.)
  • Helps your child have a better understanding of the world around them

Valentine’s/Baking Bin

I used a pretty cake plate to hold Valentine’s day items from our kitchen. You can adapt this for any season- I just happen to have a lot of heart shaped cookie cutters and silicone baking cups (that I never use- not even once a year! The kids just love playing with them!) Here’s what it entailed:

  • Foil cupcake wrapper (sight/touch/sound)
  • A container of pink sprinkles (sight/taste/sound/smell)
  • Marshmallows (sight/taste/smell/touch)
  • Heart-shaped cookie cutters (sight/touch)
  • Heart-shaped silicone baking liners (sight/touch)
  • Spatuala to play

My two little ones LOVED this! Baby E was more interested than I would have thought. He touched all of the items, and after the pink sprinkles were dumped on the bottom of the cake plate, he “painted” with them, pushing them around to make designs. Miss H was just as interested. She was very into tasting the marshmallows and sprinkles! When she tried to describe the foil cupcake wrapper to me, she needed help with the word, “ridges.” This is exactly like Charlote Mason described. She asked for help explaining something new, and I offered a new word.

Create lovely sensory bins that appeal to all the senses.

Circle Bin

  • Bowl (sight/touch)
  • A roll of tape (sight/touch)
  • Cheerios (touch/smell)
  • A circular jar for the Cheerios (sight/touch/sound when the Cheerios are in them and you shake it up!)
  • Cotton balls with a drop of vanilla, almond extract, etc. (sight/touch/smell)
  • A rolling pin (sight/touch)
  • Rubber bands (sight/touch/and they smell kind of funny!)

Winter Bin

This one is great for those days when it’s too cold to go outside and observe!

  • Pine cones (sight/touch)
  • A small pine branch (sight/touch/smell)
  • Instant snow that we just happened to have around! (sight/touch). I keep Insta-snow away from anything my children will put in their mouths. It says it’s non-toxic on the package, but it is too mysterious.
  • Scraps of wool or a cozy mitten (sight/touch)
  • Cinnamon sticks (sight/touch/smell/taste)

Hot Chocolate

  • Hot cocoa powder, sprinkled on the bottom of a cake plate. This is also fun for writing letters and numbers! Of course, I’m always extra cautious with powdery things like this so they don’t get airborne and inhaled! (sight/touch/taste/smell)
  • Marshmallows (sight/touch/taste/smell)
  • Plastic cups  (sight/touch)
  • Spoons (sight, touch, and sound when stirring with it!)
  • Cinnamon sticks (touch/smell)

Rainbow Food Plate

Make a snack platter of fruits and vegetables in all of the colors of the rainbow. Before your child digs in, ask them to observe the foods. Since Miss H is almost four, I gave her a plastic knife to cut the fruit. This allows her to observe in a different way, and practice fine and gross motor skills. Encourage your child to listen to the crunch that the fruit or vegetable makes when it is being sliced, and the sound the knife makes when it hits the cutting board.

Your child can explore all of their senses while observing fruits and vegetables.

 

Monochromatic Bin

Fill a bin or bowl with items of similar colors. Include things that appeal to all the senses.

Garden Tub

This would be good for a rainy day in the spring or summer! Otherwise, just take your child outside 🙂

  • Dirt or rocks (touch/sight/smell)
  • Flowers. Just a little side note: Charlotte Mason doesn’t recommend dissecting flowers (touch/sight/smell)
  • Garden tools (touch/sight)
  • Edible seeds (sunflower seeds, maybe?)
  • Small flower pots or buckets (you can put the seeds in here so they don’t get gross next to the dirt or rocks!) (sight/touch)

 

Tomorrow in this five day series on play, I’ll be addressing what to do when you don’t like to play with your kids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How We’re Messing Up Learning Through Play

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“Children learn through play!” This is an idea preached by schools and educational books and bloggers and toy companies. This is a widely accepted concept different factions of society have contorted to fit their own specific needs. In fact, I don’t think I’m overstepping my bounds when I say that collectively, as a society, we’re messing up learning through play for our children.

To the toy manufacturers, learning through play means creating “educational” toys that light up and spew facts. Educational companies make “games” that drill and kill, all in the name of play. There are very structured children’s classes that tell children exactly how they should play. Sports teams offer practices and competitive games for children to “play.”

Friends, in gentleness I want to tell you that these experiences are not learning through play. 

Sure, they include the word play, and they might be fun for children. But if we think of what is the best for children, they are not getting the full benefits of learning through play in these ultra-structured scenarios.

What

One of the things that drew me to homeschooling preschool was the time that it would gift our family. Instead of drop-offs and pick-ups, we could stay at home and just be. Instead of trying to fill three hours without Big Sister, we would spend that beautiful time learning and connecting together. But honestly, it is hard to fight these messages that our kids need to constantly be doing something productive. We schedule play dates and swimming lessons (I’m not exempt from these, believe me!) and sports practices and

 

In this post, the first of my Everything You Need to Know About Play series, we’ll talk about how to encourage your little ones to learn through play.

A specific kind of play is best for your young child: child-led play. This is how to encourage it in your child.

The Benefits of Learning Through Play

Play is so necessary for children that it has been listed as a basic human right for children (according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.) Play teaches young children how to interact with the world around them, allows them to use their creativity, and promotes healthy relationships. But there are many more benefits than that: 

  • Reduces childhood stress and anxiety
  • Develops social-emotional skills
  • Allows children to explore a wide range of interests
  • Encourages cooperation with peers
  • Develops confidence
  • Increases a child’s resiliency
  • Improves fine and gross motor skills
  • Allows the child to actively experience new concepts, rather than having to be told

But what kind of play do they learn from? We use the word play in so many different ways.

  • Play a video game
  • Play a sport
  • Play a game
  • Imaginative play
  • “Just playing” as in joking

 

Charlotte Mason describes beneficial play in this way:

But organised games are not play in the sense we have in view. Boys and girls must have time to invent episodes, carry on adventures, live heroic lives, lay sieges and carry forts, even if the fortress be an old armchair; and in these affairs the elders must neither meddle nor make.” School Education, pg 37

Real play, the play where children are learning and practicing life-long skills, is not organized by parents.

It isn’t sitting down to do an app, or following the rules of a game that someone else established. Yes, these things are beneficial in different ways, and have their time and place. Charlotte Mason mentioned games as a way for a child to rest from their hard work of play and observation. Because, as Albert Einstein said, “Play is the highest form of research.” 

Do we overuse the term, “Learning through play?”

Child-driven play allows children to create their own scenarios, games, and even worlds. This can be with toys, or real items, or just in their imaginations. In this article from the AAP (also mentioned above), it is explained that parents often keep their children busy with activities because they feel like this will be beneficial to their education and enrichment. But, this actually can be damaging to a child’s development because it limits their time to explore and learn through play. 

When parents engage in child-driven play with their children, they are developing a strong relationship with each other. This builds and emotional connection. However, part of Charlotte Mason’s masterly inactivity is that we allow children time to explore, play, and learn on their own. Finding a balance between bonding with your child through play, and allowing them to play independently is important.

 

How You Can Encourage Learning Through Play

  • Don’t overschedule your days so that you can have plenty of unstructured play time
  • Provide your children with toys and materials to play with, but don’t tell them how to play
  • Be selective about the toys you allow your children to have (Read my post about passive and active toys here)
  • Start a play group to allow your child to have play time with peers
  • Limit screen time- this is technology-led play, not child-led play!
  • Give your child lots of time to exercise through play outside (Here is my post about Charlotte Mason’s views of outdoor play in the early years)

For part two of this series (coming tomorrow) I’ll describe why I think sensory bins can have a place in a Charlotte Mason home.

 

 

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